I gave up on trying. The more i try,the further we get. If we are meant to be,it will be.
But the thoughts of how we are right now,i feels so cheap. What is happening to me. I should control myself now. I used to be so strong and independent.
But all of it changes when i open my heart and trust you. I always have a problem with myself when i am comfortable with someone. I will tense to rely on them too much and they will eventually crush me so deep to the ground.
I just need to be my old self back where i can do everything on my own. I don't need to be with anyone to make me happy. I can do this.
When i'm gone,maybe you will realize how much i love you and how much i really want you to be in my life. But your eyes and heart had only been for your ex. No one else. You said you love me all,but i know i'm just sharing the spot with her. Every lies that you made,i know all of it.
I just kept quiet and pretend that you are not making any lie. Why? Because i love you and i know you didn't mean to lie to me. You are just scared to hurt me and see me cry. But you know it kills me more knowing that you are lying to me.
I'm your best friend for god sake. Every happiness and sorrows that you feel,i feel it too. There's nothing that you can try hide from me because eventually i will find out.
Is it time for me back off and carry on with my life. Am i going to give up entirely??
Atikah,18.
