Tonight,i have mixed up feelings again. What is new right. I'm getting the hang on not having him to myself. Maybe that's the best for both of us.
I hate myself for rushing things and got hurt after that. For all the things that happened for the past few month was my fault. I force him to make decisions and i'm also the one who crumble everything down.
Its only fair now that i get to feel all of this too. Its hard to control my feelings but i have to. Am i giving up? No.
For the time being,i'm tired of all the heart breaks. I should stop chasing for people and have someone to chase after me instead.
I know its going to be a long and painful route but i got to do what i got to do. His leaving me in two months time for NS too. So better prepare myself now then suffer later.
I know i can do it. Just need to stay with what i say. Hopefully :)