If you know you have an headache,why didn't you called me earlier and said you were having a headache and if you really  wanted to play game,at least tell me so that i will not be waiting like a fool. Or to be clever,if you know you are not going to talk to me long,why cant you just priorities me and called me earlier and asked me to just sleep first so that i will not need to feel the disappointment of waiting for your call after hours but end up getting the i am tired tone or i want to sleep tone so sorry i cant talked to you tone. 

I never stop you from playing game but you could have the courtesy or even so,have the heart to tell me straight that you are going to play game so you can just ask me to sleep first instead of waiting like a fool and being told to sleep after waiting. If i wanted to sleep,i will not insist when you asked me to sleep. I would had just say ok and sleep. 

If i said no,i dont want to sleep,isnt it clear that i really want to talk to you. 

Not trying to be over reacting or anything but you know that since you had that game,you have less time for me. You know that i dont mind that but the smaller gesture,you could have told me earlier and not make me wait. So how many sacrifices must i make. I allow you to have the time i have with you to play game and now you telling me i need to sacrifice my sleep just to wait for you like a fool. Do you feel its fair. I had to do all that things but you not even realizing and selfishly put me at the back of your priorities. 

So what should i do know if i cant fall asleep because i just had to be pissed for having to wait so long and then be woken up and feel so angry that after the wait,i still cant talked to you. 

So tell me what should i do when now while typing this,im crying so badly because i miss you so much but didnt get to talk to you. You said you miss me but you didnt even want to sacrifice your time on game to just talk to me longer when in fact i sacrifices a lot of my time just to watch you play game because i know you are still sad and that will make you happy. How long more will you see that i will do anything just to see you smile and happy again. So much of missing me but cant even have that effort to spend the 10 min talk that you can take away from your game and talk to me. 

Do you even how lonely and sad i am every single night. Why is it so hard for you to sacrifice that extra 30 min or so just to talk to me. I dont ask hours from you to just talk to me but even having merely more that 10 min talk will already make my day. Why cant you just do that one thing for me. 

I didnt want to say it all out because i know its not necessary but its killing me inside to keep it there when i can just rant it at the blog. But since theres no place for me to hide and i cant hide from you,it would be more appropriate if i just say this here. 

Maybe thats the reason why i cried earlier on when i thought of me having a full time job. Even now when im not working full time,i already have less time to have quality time with my own best friend. What the possibilties that i will not even have the time to even get a sms from you when i start full time. With the state where i am not needed anymore right now makes me believe that when i work full time,you will not even ask hows my day. 

To that extend pain changes you huh. How i wish i was like that when i was being treated like that by my ex. Should had just change and screw what people wants me to do because i have a reason to. But i didnt because i care for my family and best friend. I know by changing will just complicate things and the other party will not like the change when it is a bad one. Why do i always put people feelings way infront of mine. Why cant i just be the selfish bitch who thinks about herself and never think about what other people feelings. Because i have this mentality of 'if the person cant accept me when im at the bottom,they dont deserve me when im at the highest peak of my life' 

Go to fuck if i am being dumped. Who cares,if the person have the heart to live me than i guess they are stupid enough because they are not able to see the best of me. Relationship are not a scale where it is a confirmation of you having the life together in the future. It is just a scale to see if both you are able to go through all the shit together and not leave each other at the end of the day. She dumps you why still stay at the same situation. Fuck that dumping and move on. There are still a lot of girls out there that are able to make you happy and accept you for who you are. Not only that stay with you through thick and thin just to be with you. 

Everything have a limit so dont limit yourself for a selfish and ignorant bitch. She dont deserve your tears or you. 

Wake up la seriously! Come back to reality. She is just a bitch that you met and were not suppose to be in your life. 

I should really prepare myself for the incoming week when i start working full time then. Cause i know i can be forgotten easily. Been there all the time. Whats new in my life.